Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Where you wanna be.

March 21, 2011 by  
Filed under Features

by Renie Stag Smith

“Compare where you are to where you wanna be and you’ll get nowhere!

— Sara Bareilles “Uncharted”

I love this quote!  Many people sit and take stock of their lives, complaining about what they are not accomplishing, but do nothing to change themselves or their situations.

I haven’t been comparing where I am to where I want to be, but I have been working on what I need to change to become who I want to be.  I seem to be in a constant state of flux, trying to better myself.

Some months I work on personality flaws – I’m a perfectionist, a control freak, a high-strung, high-maintenance yet somewhat shy gal.  With all of those character traits, I can sometimes appear to be a bit unstable.

Others months I work on professional matters – I’m juggling one career, one business, a weekly column, a weekly internet radio program, a garden, and woodworking right now -and sometimes one or two suffer.

Other months I work on relationship issues – the older I get, the more difficult it is to drop everything to go for a drink or dinner with friends like I did when I was younger.  Calendars have to be synchronized with other’s calendars, and their calendars are just as busy as mine.  My parents seem to demand more time.  My children still dominate some of my hours, even though they are grown.  My grandchildren engage a bit my time, but that I don’t mind because they are, well, engaging! Sometimes friends and family take a back burner when they should be front and center.

Still other months, I work on my physical health.  My blood pressure has been elevated recently and I’ve been working on bringing that down with yoga, cycling, and meditation.  My eating habits have been atrocious and I’ve been trying to cook healthier fare (Did you ever notice that eating healthier is more expensive and more time consuming?  No wonder many of us are overweight!)

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just take an elixir that would cure all of our issues at one time to take us from where we are to where we want to be?

A dear friend once told me the secret to changing the person you are now into a different individual almost instantly.  You simply get on a plane. When you disembark, you can adopt any personality you want; you change who you are by the time you land!  If you’re shy, you could be bold.  If you are sad, you could be happy.  If you’re a control freak, you could be spontaneous.  No one at the other end of the flight knows what you were like in your previous life and so you can become a new person.

It’s not that easy for the majority of us, however.  We have families, jobs, responsibilities, and people who’ve known us for years; sometimes our changes are met with resistance.  But, if we are truly trying to better ourselves, we must persevere!  Becoming a better person is hard work, but we are so lucky that we live in the internet age.  Anything that a person is trying to improve upon is on the web – and most of it is free.  Self help sites abound.  Chat groups give support.  On-line journals can keep your goals in sight.

Stop thinking about where you are and ask, “Where do I wanna be?” Then start working on getting there!

Good luck!


42 Practical ways to improve yourself –

Tips on Time Management –

Work and Life balance tips from the Mayo Clinic –


9 Responses to “Where you wanna be.”
  1. Lane says:

    Tonight my Dove Chocolate wrapper said “You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” What a relief, thanks Dove! Maybe secret to happiness in life isn’t to try to be something (better, faster, stronger, smarter, happier, skinnier). Maybe the secret is to just be.

  2. Peggy says:

    I think the idea is to grow by always finding opportunities in change. Have no regrets.

  3. Desi G. says:

    I started a Nutri Sum program here at the college where a handful of us, as a team, volunteered to follow good eating habits and exercise. We are competing against other offices for 14 weeks to see who maintains a healthier lifestyle and loses the most weight. So hard! I like food and it calls to me late at night! Like you said Reni, it is time consuming and is very expensive. Sometimes I think, shoot, if I could avoid breakfast and lunch I could indulge on a super sized meal! The catch is that we earn points for eating breakfast!! Good luck with your changes! 😉

  4. Michelle says:

    It’s a journey for all of us; good luck in yours!

  5. Tanya says:

    Flaws???? You and I have flaws????? NAH!!!!!!

  6. Carmella says:

    Very inspiring, thank you!

  7. Franchesca says:

    That is good advice and I am going to take it!

  8. Carla says:

    Food for thought 🙂

  9. Tyla says:

    Renie, have you read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin? I think you’d really like it – it really helped me focus my attempts to better myself, but then I got distracted and stop reading it…thanks for inspiring me to pick up where I left off!

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